Saturday, November 14, 2009

A Heavy Blow

Yesterday I went with my Mum's to receive the results of her recent biopsy; the doctor said the C-word. She is understandably in shock. I am mad. Damn cancer.

We don't know much at this point. The biopsy finding was duct cell carcinoma. There doesn't appear to be any evidence of it being invasive. We are hopeful that we have caught it early. Like the mantra my oncologist told me: early diagnosis, excellent prognosis. We have an appointment with a breast surgeon on Thursday to get her read on the reports, and a game plan.

I do not like my Mum having to go through this cancer crap. I was tested for the gene and it was negative. There was no need for this. If the statistics are that one in eight women get breast cancer, then surely I should have been able to cover my own Mum. Cancer is a bitch.

This is my blog, not hers, so I'll not presume to make it be that. I will update as I find it proper to do so while respecting my Mum's own dealing with it all.

Please keep her in your prayers.

And sorry for the tone of this post. It is a heavy blow to me. I am not even done with my own treatment and just wish I was already done so I would feel stronger to be stronger for my Mum.

That said, I have this at my core that I want to be clear is at the core of even a difficult post like this:

Remember, [my] Message is not about [myself]; [I'm] proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All [I] am is [a messenger], [an] errand runner from Jesus. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and [my life] filled up with light as [I] saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.

If you only look at [me] you might well miss the brightness. [I] carry this precious Message around in the unadorned [clay pot] of [my] ordinary [life]. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with [me]. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know yourselves that [I'm] not much to look at. [I've] been surrounded and battered by troubles, but [I'm] not demoralized; [I'm] not sure what to do, but [I] know that God knows what to do; [I've] been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left [my] side; [I've] been thrown down, but [I] haven't been broken.

(From The Message, 2 Corinthians 4:5-9, with the pronoun personalized from we to me.)


Daria said...

Sorry to hear about your mom.

Anonymous said...

Jules, I don't know what to say...can't imagine what you're feeling. I'm so glad your hope and strength are in the Lord and pray that's the case for you mum too. She will have someone that loves her and understands completely to walk with her through this.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Julie, will call Joyce later today after the dust has settled from the dr. appt. this AM.
Just wanted to tell you that the scripture from II Corinthisan 4:6-9 is so right, so good. Thanks for sharing them with all of us!
Becky E