TGINACW

So...been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, didn't fit...but made it through the first week of chemo. All I can say, is thank God it's not a chemo week. TGINACW. I know it doesn't roll off the tongue like TGIF, nor, is it entirely clever since TGIF was already taken to the point of being an accepted idiom, bordering on the cliche. It even has a movie named after it, and I haven't exactly checked my references on this, but I think the restaurant Fridays is very closely related to said cliche. All that to say, I blame my lack of creativity in re: this title post, on the chemo.

It was a very rough week. But it's over. Monday I had my first chemo treatment. It was mostly a blur like everything else has been so far, since everything has happened as fast and as furious as the hurricane that blew through Cincinnati a few weeks ago. Up until Monday this has really been rather surreal from my view. It's almost as if I've been watching from a very strange seat. Things have happened so quickly that I really haven't had time to think through everything that has happened. This is probably a good thing. I feel like I've just barely been keeping up with the flow of things, and hanging on by the proverbial thread that has been, in my case, doubling as a bungie cord, just to get to the other side of it where I could maybe sneak a peek from my rear view mirror. I think this is the same principle as to why I get carsick. Sometimes in a car I will ride backwards and that sorta helps. In this case, anit-nausea meds helped keep me from tossing my cookies. Not that I was able to eat any cookies. It's just a saying. But, so far so good in the anti-vomiting campaign I am waging. I don't think we have the mix exactly right, but at least I'm past the first round and hopefully we'll get it right next time and hopefully it will go better or at least not as bad.

They give me 30 hours of anti-nausea meds after the treatment, which sort of left me in a stupor, for which I think I am grateful although it's really pretty fuzzy. Not to mention carsick. With a headache from hell, which we think is due to coffee withdrawal, since I'm only allowed one freaking cup a day. And I won't even go into my whining about no red wine for dinner. We'll just leave it at, I'm just having an early lent this year. That pretty much describes Tuesday, except, somewhere in there, somehow a friend drove me back downtown to the oncologist's office to get a white blood cell shot. And I think I tried to watch the Heroes premiere we had TiVoed with the fam, but am not sure if that was real or not, or if I recommend it while on anit-nausea meds.

Wednesday I was less loopy and getting antsy to feel better, and in a desperate move, I talked Matt into taking me to spend $40 on a haircut that might not see me through this week but that I felt was very necessary since my bangs were in my eyes and it seemed to be something I had some control over. With Matt's help. My boys have been amazing this week. They have been taking such good care of me. I am so grateful that we homeschool because it is a gift that they are here with me. I know this has been a blessing and relief to Dave as well, as they have been shouldering things I wish they didn't have to.

The boys come by it honestly. Dave has somehow, so far kept all the plates, and there are many, spinning. I don't think a guy could try harder to take care of his wife and family. In such overwhelming circumstances that I can't even let myself think about. But he does. Probably too much. But that's how he plays Scrabble, too, which can get on my nerves since it takes so long for him to take his turn, but that's really not the point. The point, is closer to the story of Lucie Manette's love for her hub, Charles Darnay, in A Tale of Two Cities, where it is said of her that "She was truest to them in the season of trial." He was imprisoned in a tower in Paris, and she would go and stand in a certain spot for two hours every day, where she could not see him, but that he might be able to catch a glimpse of her, just so he would know she is still there. This is pretty much my life right now.

Amanda is doing her own plate spinning act. She has UC on M/W/F; beauty school on T/R/S; and has been working too many hours for her own good at Noodles and Co, which we are going to have cut down. It has been the most brilliant thing to watch her grasping her goals and then gracefully grabbing them, one by one. Mostly she is the sweet part of my whirlwind and I just love it when she breezes by.

By Thursday and Friday I was trying very hard to be able to tell everyone who kept asking that I was turning the chemo corner and feeling better. I was able to eat a bit more, and take a very short walk down the cul-de-sac, so I was trying very hard to turn said corner. But the headache wore me down till Friday, when it lifted a bit after day 5 of only one freaking cup of coffee. And then Friday night my mini broke down on Dave on his way home from work. I didn't have a mini break down, but I thought about it.


Saturday was a better day, but I think I finally turned the corner today. Today was a pretty good day. We went to church. I had a very light massage by a therapist who works with mastectomy patients. I went with Dave to pick out his new bifocals. I took a nap. We took a walk. I feel good enough to spend the evening blogging and getting ready for my Brit Lit class tomorrow.

I made it. And I'm grateful. Especially that it's not a chemo week. Woo Hoo! A whole week of not chemo!

Cheers, and thanks for praying,
Joules

Some have met with angels and didn’t know it…

Dave here. Have you seen those commercials where the guy is going through a difficult and uncertain time in his life, and then he meets an older version of himself? The “future him” lets the “present him” know that everything turns out OK. Well, I think something like that happened to me.

A couple weeks ago hurricane Ike blew through Cincinnati and left many of us without power for days. In the aftermath I ventured out to UDF to get some gas and pick up some snacks. They were already out of gas, but as I was paying for the snacks I overheard the guy in the next line asking for directions to the next closest station. He was a 50-something biker guy wearing black leather. He had already walked a couple miles from where his bike ran out of gas and wasn’t looking forward to having to walk a few more. I chimed in and offered to give him a ride to the next station, which he was happy to accept.

As we drove up the road we began to talk. He had ridden up from Tennessee the night before and didn't know anyone in the area. It turns out his name is David, same as mine. I told him I didn't have a motorcycle but that I had just called on one for sale a few days ago. Then I noticed his jacket said, “Christian Motorcyclists Association” and we found out we are brothers in Christ. As we stood at the pump filling a gas can and my tank, he insisted on paying for my gas. I was touched by his kindness in return, and began to open up more and tell him about what we are going through. I told him how Julie had just been diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, that she was recovering from a bilateral mastectomy, and that she was about to start chemotherapy.

Suddenly he stopped and looked at me, and he said, “This may be the reason God brought me here.” And he proceeded to tell me how 13 years ago (when he was my age!) he and his wife went through exactly the same thing! She has been cancer-free ever since and he went on to encourage me and build me up. It was as if God wanted to let me know that Julie is going to be OK.

Here I thought I was the one doing an act of kindness for a stranger, but God had orchestrated it all to bless me when I most needed it. I know some have met with angels without knowing it, but I wonder if more often some actually are angels and don’t know it. Anyway, don’t be surprised if 13 years from now Julie and I are riding around on a Harley!